I’m a Published Author (and I’m Terrified!)

I have to admit that when I first saw my book on Amazon last night, I had a mixture of emotions.

I was happy that ten years of hard work (yes, writing is hard and it’s work) was finally a finished product.  I was joyful, ecstatic, and jumping up and down like a teenager meeting her favorite boy band.

And yet as I sat there, staring at my book, I felt terrified.

Because now my book is out there, ready to be judged and viewed by people I’ve never met before.  What would their reaction be?  Would they like it?  Hate it?  Think it was just okay?  And then thoughts of the future started to plague me.  What if the book doesn’t sell well?  All that hard work and money would be for nothing.  And what if it is successful?  Will I be able to keep up the demand for new books and stories that are just as good or better than what I had before?  What if I let everyone down?

It took a few minutes to put everything into perspective, and as I sat there, looking at the cover, I was reminded of why I wrote the book in the first place.

I wanted to tell a story.

It’s not about popularity.  It’s not about the pride in being an author.  It’s not about good reviews or five star ratings or a chance to find my picture in the newspaper for publishing a new series.  It’s about the chance of sharing what’s in my heart with the world, and hopefully somewhere, out there is a reader who can connect with what I have to say.

The story I published is entitled “The Ripple Affair.”  I admit the title may seem a little…not discreet…but the purpose of the story wasn’t just about telling the tale of a guy who had an affair on his fiancee.  The story’s purpose was to show how a single event or choice-like having an affair-can have a direct impact on everyone else.  Hence the title name, “The Ripple Affair”-the affair didn’t just affect the guy and girl.  It affected everyone else around them.

This was the story I wanted to tell in the book (and sequels, as it’s a series.)  Showing how events and choices connect people and lives over time was a topic that fascinated me and opened my eyes as to how everything we do-even minor things-have a consequence (positive or negative).  So in the end, yes-publishing is exciting and terrifying and a mixture of emotions to make me think I need nothing but a bucket of chocolate for comfort.  But more important than my feelings is the fact that I’m sharing a story with the world that can connect with readers.

I hope they like my story.  I hope they rate it high and review it well.  And I’m not going to lie-I really hope this thing sells well (because let’s be honest, we all have bills to pay.)  But more than all of that, I hope they connect with the characters and the journey they are about to embark on.  There’s love, drama, laughter, and pain (and probably a billion other emotions that may or may not require a bucket of chocolate for comfort.)  But behind all of that is a dream finally coming true for a writer who wanted to tell a story.

If you get a chance, check out the “Books” tab on this site for more information on my book.  It’s available on Amazon right now and a Kindle version is being developed.  Book Two of “The Ripple Affair” series is also in it’s final editing stages, so be on the lookout for an announcement on that soon!  🙂

Thank you, dear readers, for your support and encouragement over the past year.  I appreciate it so very much and hope you will continue to walk on the writer’s journey with me in the years to come!  Keep watching the site for more blog posts and book news!  🙂

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