Captain Patty Review…As Told by the Characters

Reviews…every author loves them.  Whether good or bad or mediocre, reviews show that a book is being read by an audience, and more readers equals more exposure (and let’s be honest…more sales…) for the writer wanting to make a living.

Getting reviews is all fine and dandy coming from real people, but what if the characters themselves got a hold of the book?  Would they leave a good review, bad review, or spam?  I decided to give the characters of “Captain Patty and the Nameless Navigator” a copy of the book they’re in, and here’s what they submitted:

  • From Samantha: “Captain Patty is the adventurous story of a young girl and her father braving the Seven Seas with the silliest pirate around!  There’s chocolate, hamsters, a big sea monster, and singing and dancing!  You’ll never want to go back on land after reading this fun and exciting story!”
  • From Reuben: “So…there’s this guy.  A guy named Reuben.  He’s a mighty fine chap.  I think he’ll go far in life.  He’s brave, handsome, strong…did I mention handsome?  If they make a movie version, I think they should cast him as himself.  He’d win an award for sure.”
  • From Charles: “It is in my most humbled opinion that ‘Captain Patty and the Nameless Navigator’ is one of the greatest stories of our time.  It is a moral tale of bravery, compassion, loyalty, and love, and anyone who gets their hands on this book will have no trouble putting it down.”
  • From Louis: “LOOKING FOR A NEW SOFA?  LINENS?  PET CANARY?  THEN LOOK NO FURTHER!  SHOP AT LOUIS’ TRADING POST FOR THE BEST SELECTION IN ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING YOU COULD WANT!  WE HAVE THE BEST PRICES THIS SOUTH OF THE MAINLAND.  SHOP AT LOUIS’ TODAY!”
  • From Moderator: “@Louis – the post above has been marked as SPAM.  Please do not solicit customers towards businesses that exist in a literary world.
  • From Bartleby: “This book is trash.  It makes that pompous frilly girl Patty look intelligent when she clearly isn’t and makes that CLEARLY VILLAINOUS FIEND Charles look heroic.  I’ve never read such a one-sided piece of filth.  IGNORE THIS BOOK.
  • From Patty: “I received this book for an honest review in exchange for thirty pounds of chocolate.  From beginning to end, this story captivated me.  I felt as if I were on the ship itself!  Oh wait…I was…
  • From Franky the Hamster: “Squeaky squeak  squeak squeak.  Squeaker squeaky squeak squeak squeaken squeak! 😀

Well, there you have it!   Honest reviews from the characters themselves!  If you’d like to read more about “Captain Patty and the Nameless Navigator”, visit the Books page for more information!

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